Remember: Your server RARELY has control over the quality of your food. Be sure you’re not shooting the messenger.
Try to stay calm and professional. I know it can be frustrating when service is bad, but losing your temper will not improve the situation.
When making a complaint, be clear about what expectations were not met and what the resolution looks like to you.
There are a lot of ways to get this wrong. The best way to get it right though is to remember that your waiter/server is a human being and losing your temper over cold crab cakes is not a good look for anybody.
Take their apology. Things happen so try to take their apology with magnanimity.
If they don’t get their apology right, pay your bill, and don’t go back. You can even leave a review on Yelp to warn others.
Talking Points
Hi, what’s your name again?
<Name>, I know this is not your fault, but there is a hair in my soup. Can you please take it back and refund it?
Thanks for taking care of that - I really hated saying something, but I thought someone should know.
I appreciate you resolving that quickly.
Other things you can say:
I hate to tell you this, but this table is a little wobbly. Can you move us to another one?
I know you’re very busy today, but this table is right next to the bathrooms and I can smell the cleaner. Can we move to another table?
Can you check in on my steak? It’s been a while since I put it in. I’m sure you guys are just really busy. Thank you!