“I’m upset right now and need a minute to calm down.”

“I love you, but I’m angry with you right now.”

See also

• Checklist: Before you hit send
• Official Guide for Fighting with Your Partner
• How to respond when you think someone is overreacting

Start Here

• Don’t say, “I’m fine,” if you’re not.
• If you’re mad, that’s okay. Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion - it’s what you do with your feelings that matters.
• If someone upset you and you need to tell them, use this guide.

Talking Points - I’m Mad

• I’m mad.
• I’m angry.
• I’m upset.
• I’m furious.
• When you <behavior that upset you>, that made me feel <how it made you feel>.
• I understand that you didn’t think it would be a big deal, but I need you to understand how I feel right now.
• I love you, but I’m hurt by what happened.
• I’m hurting, but I still love you.
• I’m really upset by what happened and I want to talk to you about it.
• <Name>, I think we need to clear the air. Will you let me know when you’re up for it?
• What is your preferred location and time to have a much-needed, albeit tense, unpleasant, and emotional conversation?