How to ask your partner for couple's therapy

“Behind every great relationship are difficult and uncomfortable conversations we rarely get to see. Great relationships don’t just fall into our laps. They require people to move through their fears and insecurities and do the hard work to move wounds into healing.”

— Vienna Pharaon, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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There’s nothing wrong with asking your partner for therapy.
Many, many couples have found more solid footing through therapy-taught tactics.
Still, some can resist therapy because they feel embarrassed or like they don’t need it.
Everyone can benefit from therapy because at the heart of it, therapy is a safe environment to express the feelings and thoughts that scare, hurt, worry, and bother you the most. Sometimes the best way to work through those complicated things is with a therapist’s support.
If you could get them to try at least a couple of sessions with you without committing to a whole plan of treatment, that would be a win too. Let them see for themselves the benefits of therapy.
Make it about the two of you and not just you.

Talking Points

Hi babe, I’d like for us to get more connected. I have been feeling a lot of tension between us lately and I’d love to resolve that so we can enjoy harmony again.
It would mean a lot to me if you would go to a couple’s therapy session with me. I know it’s not something you’ve been excited about trying, but I think there could be some value in talking this out with a trained professional and neutral third-party.
Would you be willing to try at least two months of this with me?
I believe that therapy can give us some better fighting skills and can help us better communicate to one another.
Thank you for being open with me and for your willingness to work on our relationship.
This relationship means so much to me that it’s worth it to push through the discomfort of therapy to find more harmony between us.