Checklist: Before you hit send

“I’m a master of the words I keep in, and a slave to the ones I let slip out.”

- Winston Churchill

Start Here

Before you shoot off a snippy text or email, use the decision tree below
This methodology was developed by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (NYT Bestselling Author of Love & Respect).
This guide is a brief summary of his excellent book, “*Before I Hit Send.”*

Is it true, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
There are three ways to lie:
1. Give information that is not true.
2. Only give part of the truth, leaving important details out to warp context and meaning.
3. Give the whole truth mixed in with lies to confuse fact from fiction.
Why do people lie? Even though we’re all taught as children that lying is wrong, it’s rampant today. Dr. Eggerichs identifies types of liars - do you recognize any of them in yourself?

People hear your words of truth, but they feel your words of kindness.
Kindness has to do with who we are as people. We are caring and honorable people who deliver the uncompromising truth in a loving and respectful manner.
Truth is not advanced by being mean-spirited, hateful, and rude. Being nasty and uncharitable does not guard the truth but discredits the truth.
If the other feels attacked as a person, ongoing communication will be very difficult. When attacked, we put up walls and close off our spirit. We may be present, but we are so guarded that we don't really listen.
A benign email can be turned into a nuclear option with a snippy sentence. Just like .5 grams of cyanide can kill, losing your temper can kill any opportunity for resolution.
Kindness eases others, which enables them to hear the substance of our concern.
Ask yourself:
- Am I addressing the issue or attacking the person?
- Do you assume he or she has goodwill and is trustworthy until you know for a fact that the person is untrustworthy and lacks goodwill?
- Do you seek to remain positive and affirming while addressing the concerns on the table?